Two Can be the Loneliest Number (sometimes but not always)

One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one
It's the loneliest number since the number one

So opens that wonderful song One written by Harry Nielson and made really famous by Three Dog Night who recorded their version in 1969. Practically everyone else has recorded a cover of the song since then: from the Muppets, to the New Seekers all the way through to the Australian singer Johnny Farnham. You might have even heard the song on an X Files soundtrack. Why, even Lisa Simpson has had a go with this one (in The Simpsons Episode 553 for all you fans out there).

But, today we're here to talk about line number two: Two can be as bad as one. It isn't always, though, as I suggest in the title of this post. During my time on the street I get to witness scenes, lovely and not so lovely, inhabited by two people. Sometimes they are sweet and tender moments like this,

A Kiss Goodbye (Lisbon Portugal June 2013)

And then there are those sweet and romantic moments, moments when I know that there is love in the air, like this one (if I'd been any closer I would have been sitting at the table with them, yet they didn't notice me at all),

Romance and a Special Date (Katoomba Australia May 2014)

You could say that, as these two photographs show, two is not a bad number at all. In fact you might say it's a great number, one of the best! But, often I see scenes, and witness moments that don't seem quite so love filled. Of course sometimes the scenes are what we might term neutral, such as this scene inhabited by two people who are clearly strangers to each other

A Seat to Oneself (Perth Australia January 2014)

This, as we see, is a simple scene on a railway station platform, one person waiting, another just walking on by. Other times, the two people may be strangers, but there seems somehow to be a connection of some sort; a story we can imagine. Or perhaps the scene could be seen as symbolic in some way for some viewers. As in these pictures,

Every Face Tells a Story (Melbourne Australia December 2012)

Strangers in a Park (Perth Australia December 2013)

But, more often than you might imagine, I witness and get to share in moments involving people who might be known to each other or might not. Like in this one,

Not on Speaking Terms (Melbourne Australia June 2012)

As you can probably guess from the title, I have imagined these two as known to each other, but not on speaking terms. Someone has suggested they are father and son who've had a falling out. Who can say? One of the mysteries of the street.  Sometimes (again more often than you might imagine), I am privileged to witness and share moments of high (or perhaps the correct adjective is low) emotion between two people who it is clear are known to each other. Like these for example,

 It's Just Not Working Out (Echuca Australia July 2011)

 Sisters Thinking (Ramsgate England February 2013)

So Much for Our Happy Holiday (Echuca Australia April 2012)

Then there are those scenes and moments that exude emotion, but whether that emotion is a positive or a negative one, can't be worked out. Such as in this one,

La conversation intime entre deux amis (Melbourne Australia August 2011)

Is this simply an intimate conversation between friends as the title suggests? Or is it something deeper, more serious? We can only imagine. Whatever the emotions detected or being experienced by the people in these scenes, I do not treat images such as this lightly. The people photographed are sharing with me something of their personal and private lives. I can't, of course, know exactly what they are experiencing or thinking or feeling; my role is to share and record the moment. Emotions witnessed or recorded are of, of course, sometimes more positive, happier even. Such as this where the two people seem to be sharing a joke or a private happy moment,

I'm Saying Nothing (Katoomba Australia April 2014)

Again, I have no idea what these two are talking about, or thinking or feeling. It's just that the scene feels to me more positive, lighter. Still, it is a private moment and I am grateful to have been there to share it.

A good street photograph will evoke an emotional response in the viewer. And if the image itself has people expressing an emotion, then all the better. It makes it easier for us as viewers and fellow human beings to empathize and perhaps even understand what's going on, how the people photographed are feeling. A little glimpse can be gained into the emotional lives of others.

One last thought about the number two. There are scenes one sees on the street where the number two is both good and bad, depending on who's who. In such cases it is often the eyes that will tell you that three is most definitely a crowd

Holding Tight (Melbourne Australia June 2014)

Empathy in Street Photography: A new word to help us understand what it's all about

In the Bus Queue (Nottingham England 2013)

I've learned a new word this week: sonder. I forget now where I came across it, but it's an invented word. Or, to be more accurate, it is a word that has an invented meaning. A little research led me to the source for this word (don't worry: I will tell you what it means and why I'm writing about it very soon): The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. According to the explanation on the site:

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows is a compendium of new and invented words written by John Koenig. Each original definition aims to fill a hole in the language - to give a name to emotions we all might experience but don't yet have a word for. The author's mission is to capture the aches,  demons, vibes, joys and urges that roam the wilderness of the psychological interior. Each sorrow is bagged, tagged and tranquilized, then released gently back into the subconscious. 

Very groovy don't you think? A really excellent and innovative idea and project. The world is in great need of new and expressive words and ideas  we can all share and relate to.  I suggest everyone has at least a look at the site. Koenig also invites us to write him with ideas about emotions we can't find words for.

Anyway, back to my newly discovered word, sonder. Here is the definition from the Dictionary:

sonder:n. the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own - populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness - an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

I was really struck by this idea. We have all had, I think, those little flashes in which we suddenly realise that others around us, friends or strangers, are just like us with the same worries, loves, fears, joys, heartaches, responsibilities and complicated lives, as we ourselves have.

But what really impressed me was how this word, this concept, relates to my work, to street photography. Another way to put the lengthy definition above is to say sonder means empathy; it means feeling with our fellow travellers on planet Earth. And it is through empathy that I am able to photograph people I encounter on the street in a compassionate and loving way.

After all, they are just like me, and I am just like them. This informs my work and enables me to meet the people I photograph as equals; there is no imbalance. Our encounter  becomes a sharing, an acknowledgement that we are all in this life together.

My job is to simply make a note (through using my camera to make a photograph) of a few of the moments in which we cross paths. I can then share our encounter with others, who in turn may come to understand at least a little of the lives of others.

Sonder is also a word in German. It means special. And I like that too. The realisation of the things we have in common is a truly significant insight (and it cries out to be shared). It follows that the brief encounters between me (with my camera) and people in the street are special. Like I always say, there are no ordinary moments.

But wait, there's more! Sonder is the Swedish word for, among other things, broken. As in broken apart. The English word asunder is related. And aren't we all, in some way or other, at least a little bit "broken"? We've all had hurts, disappointments, losses, traumas in our lives that have left us a little damaged and "worse for wear".

And, you see, this is a huge part, at least for me, of what street photography is all about. As I encounter people in the street, I try to remember that, just as I am doing my best to make my way in the world, so are they. Their humanity is my humanity; their brokenness is my brokenness.

I know I've quoted the great humanist photographer Abraham Menashe a few times, but I would like to leave you now with another quote from an interview he did a few years ago.

"The world is in need of affirmation. At the very heart of our humanity is the challenge of unconditional love, which is to suspend judgement and open fully to the vivid reality of other beings. Unconditional love does not know barriers; it says yes, it affirms the moment even if it is full of grief".

 Peace to you all.